


It's Complicated

by trebleDeath



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M, Multi, even the school system, everything is so cnfusing, pretty intense family relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleDeath/pseuds/trebleDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where everyone lives n the same town and plays a hot new first person shooter called Red Vs Blue on a local server. Everyone is fine with pretending not to know anyone until a newcomer arrives and refuses to let anything be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Until I get punched in the face.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3676416) by [trebleDeath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleDeath/pseuds/trebleDeath). 



> lol that title though. This is a redo of 'until i get punched in the face' which i made like a year ago. i'll keeop the oiginal up so you can compare and see how far i've come when im not dehydrated.

“So let me get this straight, you’re from the same guild as that Tex chick who came in here and beat me up?” Lavernius’ sprite seemed to stare incredulously at the new comer who said nothing in return. The gray and yellow fellow, logged in and hadn't done anything since.

Church hit him with the butt of his rifle, “Oh my god. It’s not a fucking guild. This is RvB, not some fucking wizards of Warlock bullshit. There aren’t fucking guilds. Only high security secret government conspiracies with trained soldiers who happen to have enhanced armour and ai’s.”

Caboose stepped forward, finally having figured out how to turn his sprite around, “Wait. Why do they get to be fancy and I just have a gun?”

Church sighed into his microphone, “Well I don’t think you should even be trusted with a gun considering you always ‘accidentally’ hit the spacebar and kill me. And to answer your dumb ass question, Everyone in this super secret government agencies are beta testers. My sister is one and she couldn’t be less chill about it.”

“So instead of paying for the game, they were paid?” Lavernius kept his cursor on the new guy, keeping him in his limited line of sight.

Church laughed, “Yeah. I totally paid. There’s this thing called pirating or just finding this shit game after a steam sale.”

“No. I like this game. I bought it.” Caboose spoke up.

“Okay, great. But you also spend all your money on those commercials only old ladies watch.”

“Yeaaaaaahhh. It’s pretty fun. Well, I have to go walk Freckles.”

“The giant robot can walk himself, idiot.”

“No. I mean Freckles. He’s my dog. Bye!”

Lavernius turned to Church, “He names his killer robot after his dog?”

Church sighed again, “Yes. Let’s just be glad he’s gone.”

The new guy walked forward finally. “Hey, Who’s the CO here. Psyche, it’s me now.” he greeted awkwardly.

This time it was Tucker’s turn to sigh. Not because this guy was a total awkward loser who was trying to be cool, because he was, but because there wasn’t a control to flip off anyone.

His sprite turned to the other once again, “Listen up. I don’t really think you should be here, much less our new commanding officer. Last time one of your guild members was here, things got fucked up.”

“Tucker! It’s not a fucking guild! It’s a government project!”

“As if there weren’t enough galactic war games where you don’t actually fight any grotesque monsters and the whole plot is actually just a huge government scheme. God, as if there weren’t enough secret government plots in games. Not to mention IRL. Games are making people paranoid and come up with crazy conspiracy theories.”

Church scoffed again, “For someone who gave birth to an alien, you sure really want to fight aliens.”

“Junior was stupid, so he doesn’t count. I mean, I had to give it a name and it depleted Caboose’s health and it didn’t give me any sort boost!”

“Big fucking deal, besides that’s over. You fucking lost him. Back to the matter on hand, what do you think we should do about Mr. yellow accents over here?” Church turned to the new guy, who was still standing quietly, his sprite bouncing in the standard at guard position.

“I don’t want a guild dude here.”

Church shot him, “You’re worse than Caboose. He’s not a fucking guild member you nerd trash!”

“Fuck!” His sprite jumped back, “Dude. My health.”

“I don’t give a fuck. You can’t call this douche bag a guild member.”

“Well it’s easier than saying some specialized agent with enhanced armour as a direct result of a freelancer project endorsed by a secret government plot.” he sighed again, “So he got paid to get all that special shit, right?”

“Not really. I mean, the special shit was his payment.”

“Still, he’s a douche, even if he didn’t pay.”

“You know, there are plenty of chicks in this game.”

“Yeah, like that dude’s sister who took over our team, made sex jokes then never played again?  
Or like your crazy girlfriend who is also part of this guild. Because I really don’t think this guy is a dude, he’s not crazy enough. Plus, even with a voice modifier, I think he’d sound more feminine.”

“Whatever, I still think you’re being a little narrow minded. Anyway, I’m going to sign off because I'm tired of hearing you say the word guild.”

“Wait. I’m just saying that this dude hasn’t responded, so he’s probably AFK, plus, if he’s just a beta tester and got specialized shit, he probably doesn’t have any skill. Just fancy shit. What I’m saying is we could kill him then take his armour.”

Church paused, “How would that work? There are two of us and one body of armour.”

“Yeah,” a pause ensued, “I think I should get his armour considering I was the one who thought of the idea. You can have the loot he has.”

“That’s fucking stupid.”

“No. Fucking stupid would be Caboose finally getting into bed with me. Bow chicka bow wow.”

The other’s sprite seemed to stare at him in disbelief. “I’m signing off.” With that, Church left.

Tucker shrugged real time and turned to the new guy. “Well. Time to take your government shit and become the ruler of this shitty box canyon.”

His sprite turned, “What did you just say? Sorry, you guys were arguing about some stupid shit so I left to get some taquitos.”

Tucker stared at the computer screen in his dark room. “I thought you were in a guild, don’t you think you should act more professional and actually stay online? Plus, it’s like, four. Why the hell are you eating Taquitos?”

“Meh. I’m not on a mission, so I can act however the hell I want. Plus, it might be later than four for me. You have no way of knowing what time it is here, so don’t scold me for eating damn taquitos.”

“Listen dude, this is a local server. Only people in this area can connect to it. Well, I mean we could enable long distance wifi, but then twelve year olds would get in the game, so we don’t.”

“There could be twelve year olds in your area. And how do you know I haven’t hacked your system?”

“Because you’re too stupid. Also, there really aren’t that many twelve year olds in the area who want to join our game. They made their own server. I’ve been there, it’s so stupid.”

“Cool.” It was obvious he was ignoring him. Well, I’m Agent Washington. As your new Co, I request you tell me about this level.”

Tucker stared at the screen in disbelief again. It wasn’t that he didn't have any clever comebacks. He did, but this guy was just so oblivious and slow.

“This is a local server. One location. Sometimes we move to another location, but everyone has to sync up at the right time, so we don’t really move that often. And you’re not my new CO, we don’t really have CO’s here.”

“Cool, I don’t care. So, what do you do here?”

“Nothing. It’s a box canyon divided into two colours like the title suggests. This basically is where we sit and argue and sometimes throw grenades. That’s it.”

“Lame. And it’s just local? The Freelancer Project had multiple levels and platforms, not to mention several people from around the country. Even some guy from England. He was pretty cool.”

“Whatevr. Listen, everyone on here you might meet IRL. And it’s important to know that reality and this game are different, you don’t talk about life in here and you pretend you don’t know anyone, same goes for out in the real world. If you thnk you know someone from this game, don’t tell them that. Also, you might want to invest in a voice modifier if you don’t want to be recognized easily.”

“Oh, do you have one?”

“Yeah. A whole lot that does for me though. My mom always screams my name.”

“Lavernius!” His mother called from downstairs.

He took off his headset, “What!” No doubt Washington-if that WAS his real name- heard him despite the microphone being away from his mouth.

“Come down here when I am talking to you!” A typical response.

He sighed once more before putting on his headset again, “I have to go, my mom wants me to do something. Why don’t you go make friends with the red team. No one cares about color here, so just tell them you’re from the blue team and they’ll welcome you.”

He signed off. Sure he would be back soon enough, but signing off was better than being killed by Washington. And pausing an online game sure wasn’t an option.

He trudged downstairs where his mother was waiting in the kitchen.

“A nice family moved in a couple doors down, and I thought it would be nice to give them a little welcoming gift,”

“Bow chicka bow wow,” he muttered under his breath, hoping his mother didn’t notice.

Despite his need to point out everything that could be taken the wrong way, his mother was the opposite and would probably smack him for that phrase alone. Much less some of the things he did online.

“I need you to take that plate over to the Montgomery’s old house. Maybe stay and talk. It’d be nice for you to get a friend off the internet.”

“Mom. I told you, all my quote unquote friends are in the area, so they are real.”

“I never said they weren’t real, just that they were online friends. Now get the plate, don’t eat anything off of it, and just in case you get wise, I’ll be talking to that family to see if they got all two dozen of my cookies. Now march you little butt down the street.”

Lavernius sighed before picking up the plate and leaving the house. He knew very well that if he stayed after she told him to go twice, he would be in trouble. That was just the kind of person his mom was, straight laced. Probably laced a little too tight at that.

He sighed once more as he got to the Montgomery’s old house. It was way too close to him, and considering his mother was going to force him to be acquainted, he’d soon have some white neighbors on his case all the time.

He knocked, a groan and heavy footsteps being his only response.

After what seemed like eternity a blonde boy opened the door, a taquito sticking out of his mouth like a cigar. “Yes, I have accepted Jesus as my lord and savior,” He spoke sarcastically as he wrenched open the door, not even bothering to glance at Tucker before he spoke.

“Great. Now I don’t have to give you these cookies, I can just keep them all to myself, because these were obviously my conversion cookies.” The taller one responded almost immediately.

“Nah. I still need those cookies.” He reached over and took the plate out of his hands.

Tucker rolled his eyes, “Prick.”

“Don’t you know not to call your elders prick?”

He looked him up and down, one eyebrow cocked, “Elder? Your like, twelve shut up.”

The guy laughed, “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to call me prick. You could at least call me David.”

“All right David the prick it is.” Tucker turned to leave.

“Wow, I tell you my personal information like my first name and you just walk off? At least tell me your name.”

He turned on his heel and balanced on the edge of the cement step, “Lavernius.”

The blonde, David, nodded his head. “Cool. I’ll see you at school tomorrow,”

Tucker snorted, “And what makes you think I go to middle school?”

“Because I’ll be going to high school. Probably the same one as you considering there’s only  
one in this area.”

“But you said you were my elder AND twelve.”

“Yes,” He picked up a cookie and bit it, the taquito still hanging from his mouth.

“Gross. Old twelve year olds at school.” Tucker turned to leave again, this time actually stepping off the porch, “Oh. I forgot, my mom says welcome to the neighborhood, if you need anything, we’re the house with the catering van in the driveway.” He nodded over his shoulder before walking down the walkway.

At least this David guy was pretty okay. Not good, just okay. Snarky, but okay. They probably would get along.


	2. Chapter 2

Lavernius sat down at the regular lunch table, same as everyday, except one thing. Within minutes of him sitting down, David took up the usually empty spot next to him.

Leonard raised his eyebrow, "Who's your friend?"

The blonde nodded in Leo's direction, "I'm David."

The other nodded back, "Leonard. So how'd you become fast friends with Mr. Innuendo over here?"

Lavernius spoke up, "He's not my friend. He moved in down the street and my mom made me be overly courteous to him,"

"And fine job you are doing at that too," the sarcasm dripped off his words as he took out a brown bag from his bag.

Lavernius rolled his eyes, "Whatever. He's still not my friend,"

Leo shrugged, "Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day,"

"You know, I've always hated that expression," David spoke up again, "Because it alludes to the fact that you don’t know what will happen to build up a relationship. Like, sure Rome wasn't built in a day, but they had engineers and extensive research and plans that scholars who studied for years followed to the letter,. 

Leo stared a moment, as if he had to think about how to swallow the morsel of food in his mouth before responding, "So, you're telling me that a giant empire that undoubtedly expanded constantly, this fact being reinforced by impeccable records, was all planned out? That every dirt road made by merchants, every little hut put up by farmers, way in the countryside that just happened to be owned by an empire, was planned out by people with doctorate degrees?"

"No, I'm saying everything big in Rome was planned out, and the rest followed suit. I understand how cities work, it becomes a junction and expands rapidly. However, travel was harder way back in the day so it didn't boom as quickly, as say, New York City did. But every large construction project was planned by engineers, and the much needed roads were optimally mapped, hence the lattice formation we still use today, considering it was fucking genius. And you're right about the meticulous record keeping, they kept track of the indefinite expansion, but that also means they kept track of immigrants and dirt roads forged by farmers way out in the countryside,"

Leo huffed, but before he could say anything, Lavernius jumped in, "Hey dick heads. Guess what, it's a fucking metaphor, a saying, nothing important. We don't need to get into a large debate over something this useless!"  
David shrugged, "I only expressed my dislike for a phrase, and he jumped on me."

"You made it sound like your opinion on a common phrase was fact, you tried to downplay my using it with your froofy facts and shit."

David sighed, "I'm sorry that your ego is so fragile that you can't handle my educated opinion."

"Hey Leo, I saw your Facebook post, you’re in a legit relationship now?" Lavernius jumped in again.

He tore his stare away from the new comer and redirected it at Lavernius, "Yeah, her name's  
Allison, and technical we’re not dating IRL, but I like her facebook photos and she said she was in a relationship first. Now I just have to find her and it’ll be complete. It shouldn’t be too hard, I mean "

"She goes here? How in hell did you find that out?"

"Oh you know, checked out her Facebook once she added me as her friend."

"God, that's so stalker like."

"What, no. It's not. Shut up, if it's online it's okay."

David smirked, apparently finding this another opportunity to harass Leo. "I think that Lavernius is right, stalking someone's Facebook doesn't make it any less real." 

"Oh shut up Dave. Like you would know anything." Leo flipped him off.

"Kay, so an Allison that goes here. What's her last name?" Lavernius averted the arguing again.

"Soutex,"

David chuckled, "Interesting last name. Are you sure she's not made up?" 

Again, Leo flipped David off.

"She's real. She's the really athletic Allison who wears flannel and has shop for half her classes,  
right?" Lavernius was basically ignoring all their rude gestures at this point.

"That's the one," he spoke with a smug grin. “All my ducks are in a row for a real relationship with a hot girl.”

"Wow, she's manlier than you," David chucked a grape at him.

"At least I have a girlfriend," in return, Leo threw a fry.

"Yeah, I don't really want a girlfriend, so I guess all you have on me is the fact that you’re stalking a girl who is manlier than you.”

"Yeah, and she'll kick your gay ass."

"Never said I was gay, just said I don't want a girlfriend, or any kind of date mate. I want like, a giant fighting robot."

"Dude, I'll just take anything," Lavernius spoke as he reached over the table and stole a fry from Leonard.

"We know. You're known as the guy who'll fuck any sentient thing,"

"Not any sentient thing. Then I might end up carrying a robo baby once the ai’s become self aware."

No one said anything. Instead, they all turned to their lunches. 

David scanned the room before stopping on one person. “Hey, can I ask you about some things?”

Lavernius smirked, “Why yes, of course I’ll teach you how to have kinky sex.” 

He rolled his eyes, “No Thank you. That’s gross and you’re gross.”

Leo sighed, “If you think that’s gross, you better leave while you can.He says shit like that all the time. But what’s your question?”

he pointed across the room. “Who’s that? He’s signing a bunch of shit.”

Lavernius looked over to where David was pointing. A kid with long blond hair pulled back by hair clips, was just eating lunch. Granted he would pause every once and a while and fiddle with his hands, or rather signing.

Leo shrugged, "That's Michael, he's special needs, he’s pretty chill.”

"Oh, what for?"

"Autism I think. Do you know sign? What's he signing?"

"One of my friends lost his ability to speak in an accident, so he and I learned sign together.  
And it’s hard to see what he’s signing, but from what I can tell he’s signing, “is track today? What day is it?”

"Huh. Makes sense." Lavernius stole another fry.

"Not really. He’s not really communicating with anyone. But I guess it makes sense why he’s alone, not many people sign or want to learn in order to communicate with someone who can’t speak.”

"No, he talks. He just signs. Like, he rarely says anything, and when he does he signs it too. He also signs to himself almost always.”

David nodded, "Cool." he turned back to his lunch before popping his head up again. “Oh yeah, I have another question.”

Leo and Lavernius sighed. This guy didn't stay on one topic for long.

“So I was in first period, math, right? And there was this dude at the front of the classroom and the started teaching us-”

“Dave. That’s called a teacher. What the crap kind of school did you have in wherever you came from.”

“I came from Oregon just so you know. Also, they have teachers there, also I know what a teacher is. And I thought that this dude was a teacher, but when I went to fourth before this, he was there. And he was wearing ridiculous tiny sport shorts and just standing there stoically. I was like, weird, he’s a terrible gym teacher. But then this really old guy walked into the class, yelled at this one chubby kid, then stood at the front of the of the class and told us to start running laps. And I was all, ‘what? two teachers? this is a small enough class that we don't need one.’ Then the tall dude with tiny itty bitty shorts started running.”

Lavernius nodded, “Okay, first, why are you so focused on this kid’s shorts?”

“How do you know he’s a kid? Also, they were seriously tiny. Like, they were neon green and about as tall as my hand is wide. I’m pretty sure if he were to bend down, I’d see his butt. They were just so. TINY.”

Lavernius nodded, “I’ll have to get into the same gym class as you. But yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a kid. Either a senior or just an honors student. This school is so tiny and underfunded that we have about twenty staff then basically pay kids with good grades to teach other classes. Like, legit, you can either get money, or college credit. I’ve never done it, but I want to, imagine all the amazing classroom sex that would lead to. But, I’m pretty sure there would be some people who would purposely act out because they hate me.”

David sighed, “You’re not going to get any sex ever, much less any in a classroom.”

He scoffed, “Rude.”

By the time Lavernius actually signed into blood gulch, the yellow accented dude was already there. 

"Ey Wash, what up?" the chan sprite moved towards him.

"Absolutely nothing. There's nobody here to deal out missions. I called command, but that is like the lowest NPC I've seen. All he said was do better, attack the reds. So I went to the red base and some old guy blew me up. The worst part is, I think that old dude is my chemistry teacher."

He snorted, "Yeah. Sarge. The old chemistry shop teacher who pretends not to know technology despite being the auto shop teacher. "

"Why does he even play this game?"

"Same reason most of us do. There's nothing to do, but pretend we're not in the real world.   
There aren't any consequences, and the outside world and relationships don't matter."

"Relationships don't matter?"

"Yeah. It's just nice to get away. So I would focus more on the so called missions rather than making friends in the server."

"True. Not really going to make friends IRL, so I guess whatever. So I’m not even going to try here."

"Yeah." he paused, "That sounds really depressing."

"You can't see this, but shrugging, because I don't care."

"Okay," a silence took place, "I heard next week they're making a mod where you can flip someone off."

"Cool."

Another pause, "So.... Church is busy with Allison, so I guess it's you and me and Caboose. Where ever he is."

"He shot me yesterday when he came back. I'm good with it just being you and me,"  
For some reason, that made Lavernius really happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one with the tiny shorts is locus btw.

"Hey, Wash, did you know there's a sale tonight?"

Agent Washington turned around to stare at the cyan-ish seafoam colored guy. "I don't really care, I don't go shopping."

"Maybe not, but I think you might care about this sale. It's at my place, everything one hundred percent off. Bow chicka bow wow."

Wash stared a moment, "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"No!" he answered way too quickly.

There was a small awkward pause before he spoke again. "Kay, but it seems like you're trying to seduce me."

"No! I'm not! I just learned a new pickup line okay? God, can’t two bros exchange pick up lines without being accused of homosexuality?”

He paused again, "Alright, so you’re not seducing me. But,if you were trying to seduce me, what would that look like?"

Tucker was silent. 

"Is it pick up-" 

"I'm leaving!" his sprite disappeared as he signed out.

Wash looked at where he was previously standing, just thinking, "I think he was trying to seduce me."

He turned away from the ow empty space and walked into the blue base. He was sure that Church would be there and would have some insight on the exchange. 

"Hey, Church. How does Tucker flirt?" He called as soon as he entered the base. 

The blue one in question turned around, "What, why would I know that?"

"First, you know him, so ‘s probable that you've seen him flirt, and who knows, maybe he's flirted with you."

Church paused. God, why was there so much pausing whenever the topic of flirting came up. Maybe it was a no homo kind of thing.

"He flirted with me once, and that was in fifth grade. I just told him I'm not interested. He got awkward and backed off. Never flirted with me again, and I don't flirt with him s it’s all good."

"I don't care if you don't flirt or if he doesn't flirt with you. You MUST know how he flirts. Haven't you seen him flirt before, it seems like he would do it all the time."

"He makes sex jokes all the time, but he doesn't flirt a whole lot. Last time he flirted with anyone, it was my sister Carolina. She punched him in the face, and he was really awkward around both me and her for like a week."

"Great, I don’t care. Just tell me, was it like."

"Funny. He totally thought his nose was broken but it was barely bleeding.”

"No, how did he flirt?!" he was kind of getting impatient.

"Why do you want to know?"

That calmed him down, "Well, he came up to me and-"

Before he could finish, Church interrupted him "He's flirting with you." 

"What the fuck? I didn't even finish my sentence, how do you know he's flirting with me?"

"He's been talking about it all week. He's really an idiot when it comes to love. Sex, he might be fine, but romancing? Nah, he won’t stop asking me about how to romance people."

Washington was silent for a moment, "He was talking about me?"

"Yes. He won’t stop talking about how cute you are and how he’d like to see you in tiny neon green shorts, and how he’d like to curl up with you on a couch and just hold hands while watching some shitty movie that neither of you are paying attention too."

He paused again, "Well, how do I tell him nicely that I'm totally not interested?"

"I don't know man. He gets really awkward when he gets turned down. Like really. And I don't know how to change that, especially considering the only people who have turned him down are socially inept people, like me and my sister."

"Hmmm. Well, I guess your advice is shitty. Who is not socially inept and could help me not make him awkward."

"Tucker. He's the only one on this side of the canyon who can read people. He’s pretty damn good at it if it doesn’t include him.”

Wash groaned, "Anyone else?"

"Flowers maybe, but he's not online ever. Uhhh, Doc, but he's also not online a lot, Donut I'd say."

"Donut? No way that's his real name."

"It is. He's the pink one."

"Ugh. On the red team? They keep trying to blow me up, I can't get advice from those ass towns."

"Caboose can walk you over, he's pretty tight with pinky. So as long as you avoid Sarge, you should live to see another day and bask in this shitty artificial game play sun."

"Poetic. Truly poetic, why don't you have all the babes?"

"I do. I have a girlfriend."

"Sure you do. I'm not really comfortable walking over there with Caboose, he’s accidentally shot me several times. Well, he says it’s an accident."

"Probably really didn't mean to. And if he did, then just consider it a ritual kind of thing, right of passage if you would. Now, get going."

"Fine," He groaned again before walking out of the base, assuming Caboose was up on top.

However, halfway up the ramp, the pink one ran into it, "No need to come and find me, Wash, I heard it all."

He stared blankly for a minute, "Eavesdropping much?"

"Not tooooo much. It’s just Caboose went offline for a bit and I was bored, so I listened to your little dilemma. To answer your unasked question, yes. I can help you. But not online. The whole point of this game is to avoid people and real world problem. Plus, I can't give you serious advice when I’m looking at your crappy guild-exclusive armour. I mean, come on! I actually have some class."

Below, they could hear Church yell, “It’s not a fucking guild!” It was faint enough that they both ignored it. 

"Okay," Washington stated simply, not really sure how to respond. "Um, how should I talk to you then?"

"Oh right. If you go to room 308 tomorrow morning or after school, I should be there. We can talk all about your little romance life then."

"Little?"

"Yes. Little. Almost every romance is little compared to what I have."

He paused again, "And... What do you have?"

"I have two boyfriends."

"..... Do they know about each other?"

"God, just because I have a sense of style and have two boyfriends does not mean I'm gay! I mean, I am. But come on, be a little less quick to jump the gun. I could have been bi or pan or straight but I just fell for two gorgeous boys.”

Washington stared blankly at his screen, "Um. I didn't ask about your sexual or romantic orientation... I asked if your boyfriends knew about each other..."

"Oh sorry. I just get asked a lot if I'm gay. Like, it's really stupid. But yeah, both of them know about the other. It's really fun."

"Okay. Great. I'm glad you have love in your life. Well, I'm looking forward to advice. See you later?" he was honestly just going to leave the game altogether. The game was fine most days, but today was sort of an off day. Besides, it wasn't any fun without Tucker.

 

The next day, David walked into the small class room, where about four people were located.   
Michael off to the side signing something, a man with an intricate braid that swirled into a flower and who might also have been the guidance counselor that talked to him the first day he arrived, a blond boy with gelled hair and his head in the lap of another boy with glasses.

"Uh, hi." he raised his hand in awkward greeting as he dropped his bag by the door.

The blue eyed boy beamed as he caught sight of him in the corner of his eye, "David! Hi." he sat up.

Well, he was in the right place. He took that as a good sign and sat down in one of the empty chairs. "Hi. Sorry, I'm still pretty new here, who are you?"

The boy who spoke giggled, "I'm Frank, and this is Frank as well, that's Mikey, and this is Mr. Flowers."

The dark, older man smiled, "My name matches my braid,” H gestured to the intricate braid that did resemble a flower. 

It was pretty neat.

The silence seemed to be his cue to speak. He cleared his throat before starting, "I'm David. But I guess you already knew that. So. Um. I came here for advice."

"Ah yes, relationship advice, my favorite,"

"It's not really relationship advice, I need to avoid getting into one and not hurt someone's feelings in the process."..

The boy with glasses groaned, though he was smiling. Everyone in the room seemed to be smiling, "Please. Don't give him any more fuel for gossip."

The first Frank pouted, "I don't gossip THAT much," 

"Oh really? Is that so? And stop pouting,"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll have to kiss your perfectly pouty lips,"

"Oh no, what shall I ever do if that were to happen,"

"You better figure that out quick," with that, he leaned forward and kissed the others turned face.

David cleared his throat loudly, drawing the attentions back to him.

"Oh, sorry." Second Frank blushed, making his tan skin slightly darker, "I forget that PDA makes certain people uncomfortable, especially since we're kinda really gay,"

The teacher made a snorting nose, "Kind of really gay."

The blonde Frank stuck his tongue out, only evoking another half laugh from the adult in the room. 

"But Frank's right, sorry for the PDA. Let's Get back on the subject of you and Lavernius. so he used a pick up line over the Internet. There are a couple things we can get from that. What was your reaction?"

"Uh, I asked him if he was seducing me. he got really defensive then signed off,"

"Mostly because he was trying to seduce you."

Mikey walked over to the first Frank and sat on the floor in front of him, "Bagel, can you braid my hair, it's getting in my eyes again," All the while signing things. It actually took effort for Dave to ignore his hands.

The blonde Frank laughed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his temple, "Course, sweety."

"Kay, I know we're off topic again, but Mikey, how do you sign and talk at the same time? That must be super hard."

He shrugged, "People think I'm stupid, and I guess I am because I have to say what I'm thinking. So I just say what I'm thinking with my hands, it is not hard."

Mr. Flowers' smile disappeared. "Sweetie, you are not stupid. Mean people say that because they don't have a large vocabulary and just want to insult you. You just think differently, and your strengths are in different areas. And like David said, it's really hard to sign and speak at the same time, especially if they're two different things being said."

"Yes Mr. Flowers." The answer sounded automatic, as if they went through this several times a day.

A lull settled over the room. Dave broke that by speaking again, on topic for once. "Okay, so how do I get Lavernius to know I'm not interested without making him awkward?"

"Well, he started seducing you, as you put it, online, more importantly over Red vs Blue,"

"Blue vs Red. It sounds dumb when you say it backwards," Mike popped back into the conversation.

"Right. Blue vs Red. Point being, the number one rule is to ignore all others relationships don't exist basically. Do he might actually not like you. I would say he definitely doesn’t like you, but then Church said that he was talking about you. I’m pretty sure he’s into you just a little bit

He moaned and slumped in his chair, "But I'm not good enough friends with him to just tell him then get over it. I've known him for like, two weeks,"

Frank shrugged, "Ride it out. Don't return the feelings, but don't call him out. I have no other advice."

"Lame. I came here for advice, not for retreat instructions,"

"It's not retreating, it's advancing towards future victory."

A chubby kid stepped into the room, his dark brown hair gathered in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck, "Hey, I'm going to chill out here for a bit. It's the only place Sarge won't go, too hippy for him."

"Just because we like nature and preserving it doesn't mean we're hippies. And even if we were, we don't do drugs, which means your not allowed to smoke in here." Flowers spoke as he walked into the room and sat on the table next to David.

"I don't smoke anymore," he answered, though his voice was still mostly monotone, and pretty unconvincing.

Mike signed something that caught David's eyes, 'Dexter won't stop smoking, but he's not cool.   
He doesn't want Flowers to tell his dad.'

"I agree with Mike."

The blonde Frank made a questioning noise, "What did he say."

"That Dexter isn't cool and won't tell the truth about smoking because Flowers will tell his dad."

"Your right I'm going to tell your dad!" he took out his phone, "I promised not to tell if you quit,   
but Mike says you didn't, and you know he wouldn't lie."

"Lies are mean, and I don't understand why you would make something up when it's not true," he chirped, as if Dex needed the clarifications.

Dex groaned, "Flowers. Please don't. Sarge will have my ass."

"Right, especially since I know you aren't buying them."

Dexter grabbed his bag, acting nonchalant still, though it was obvious he was worried, "Well, then I'll leave. There's no need for me to stick around for Franklin's thrilling anti smoking speech and for Sarge to drag me out to the jeep by my ear. I'm going to get ahead start."

He walked to the door tighten paused, "And new kid, thanks for translating Mikey and getting me in trouble, I'll make sure to have your ass, and your boyfriend's ass too."

He left.

Frank ran a hand through his wavy hair, "Dex isn't going to beat you up. He's just going to get pouty. Though I wish he did stay for our anti smoking speech, it's pretty emotional."

"I like how you focus more on my potential anxiety over some loser beating me up than the fact he said I had a boyfriend."

"Hey. You have no right to call him a loser. We're all losers. And we're all friends in certain ways, and we need to stick up for each other. Even if we throw around useless threats and insults, we don't actually mean it, because we can't afford to lose each other." Franklin finished off the messy French braid and tied it off.

“Uh no offense, but I don't know that guy. I've seen him in gym but aside from that, I don't know him. I just learned his name.” 

“Weird. Usually we all sit together during lunch. I would sit with you too except track is coming up and I need to prepare for tryouts. Frank has been helping me. As for Dex, I don't know.” 

The Frank with the longer hair raised a hand, “I bet I can guess. Richard has anxiety so he probably didn't want to meet a new person. Dex probably stays with him. I'm betting they sit behind the bleachers and either smoke or kiss.”

"I don't like David's boyfriend," Mike spoke as he tugged at some of the bangs that managed to elude the braid, barely hanging above his grey eyes, "Eclair, do you think I need bobby pins?"

"Probably." He reached into his bag and pulled out some blue clips. 

"I don't have a boyfriend," Dave commented again.

"Oh we know," Frank and Flowers nodded in agreement.

"I don't know," the other volunteered

"Point is a lot of people think you two are dating. It's obvious why once you see how Tucker looks at you, and the way you look back. Which is why I think it's shocking you want to turn down his affection."

"What do you mean the way I look back."

"Oh you know, just how you look at him with a longing, sometimes with a fiery passion in your hazel eyes."

He groaned again. "Well, spread the rumor we aren't dating."

He got up to leave, stopping by the door to grab his bag.

"Not yet anyway," Someone behind him mentioned.


	4. Chapter 4

Washington scanned the surrounding area from atop the blue base. It was quiet. Almost, too quiet. Wait, that was fucking lame way of putting it. It was just quiet. Period.

“Hey, Ass munch!”

Washington turned around to the voice. Church was standing there, “Sup cock bite? Where’s everyone?”

“That’s what I came to talk to you about. Everyone’s gone.”

“Great. I don’t know why, do you?”

“Well I know that Caboose and Donut have football practice or some anti nerdy shit. Track? I don’t know, sports thing, aka boring. I know that Grif got grounded so that means he and Simmons won’t be on, it also means Sarge won’t be on considering he has no team and he might be babysitting teenagers and making sure they don't get std’s. And like usual, Doc and Flowers aren’t really ever on.”

“Kay. great. What about Tucker?”

Church chuckled, “You like Tucker! And here I was, just sitting here thinking that you hated him.” 

“Oh my god, stop being a five year old and accusing me of liking people. Also, you didn't answer my question, like you usual. In fact, that just raised another question. Why the hell do you think I like Tucker as anything more than a friend. Or hate him?”

“Well, there's rumors going around that you're disgusted by gay people and so Tucker's little crush on you probably made you uncomfortable. I mean, if you're disgusted by him, then he probably isn't comfortable liking you. But he can't stop, so it probably made him avoid this game. That's why I think you hate him. But then again, you're asking around for him like a lovesick teenage girl.”

“You can't see, but I'm rolling my eyes. I myself am so gay that other gay people hate me. So whoever is spreading the rumor that I'm homophobic is an idiot.”

“Really shouldn't have said that.” Church’s Sprite turned around to stare off into the valley. “Being homophobic in this state makes you popular, being so gay that even gay people hate you probably will make you less popular. I mean, look at Tucker. He's got like, five friends and no love life. He can't help being pan. But it sure does ruin his social life.”

“I'm not pan. I'm aro ace.”

Church was quiet for a second. “That doesn't affect your social life here in Iowa.”

He shrugged. “A lot of people say it doesn't exist. Plus if the gay community wasn't so sexualized, maybe I would be included in the gay umbrella instead of being pelted by all this rain.”

“Whatever. Just tell Tucker that you don't dislike him. And for the love of God, don't tell him that you aren't attracted to his gender when you say this.”

“Didn’t you do the exact same thing in fifth grade?”

“That’s not the point. Just don't say more than you need to.”

Washington stared a moment, “You know what Church? Everytime I talk to you, I regret it. You’re stupid as fuck.”

The other scoffed, “This game is stupid without Tucker, so get over yourself patch things up.”

“I didn’t say anything to him though.”

“Well someone did, and it’s still up to you to dispel these rumors.”

“I didn’t say anything though! I'm pretty sure that it was the Franks. They should be responsible for clearing this up.”

“The Franks?”

“Yeah. The ones that are dating.”

“Franks as in plural? The only Frank I know is Delano, and he has too many romantic interests to date himself.”

“Is that Frank blonde and girly?”

“Yep. Frank Delano Donut.”

“Then that’s the first Frank. But what about the one with the black hair down to his shoulders, with the glasses? You know, Frank’s boyfriend?”

Church paused, “Wait. Doc?”

“Uh. Frank?”

“Doc.”

“Fine. Doc and Delano have been- Oh my god, Doc and Delano is so much better sounding than the two Franks.”

“Yeah, we know. Why the fuck do you think we call them that.”

“But they introduced themselves as that.”

“Yeah, they hate those nicknames. Too bad for them.”

“They should just accept it. Their fate is sealed.”

“Speaking of defeat, you should just accept it and patch things up with our fine friend, Tucker.”

“No. Like I was saying before you interrupted me-”

“You interrupted yourself.”

“Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence ruin the beginning of yours!” there was too much irritation in his voice for his sarcasm to shine through.

“Yes it did. Thanks for apologize. Now hurry up, what were you saying about our Alliterating Gays and your boy issues so you can hurry up and talk to Tucker.”

“Kay. First of all, my boy issues are not my boy issues. I think Frank Delano gossiped about it.”

“Dude, that’s bad. How much did you tell him, and why would you ever tell him anything?”

“You told me to!”

“I said him or Doc.”

“Noooo. You specifically said Donut. And even if I did just talk to Doc, he would have told Delano and then he would have gossiped anyway.”

“Gossiped about what?” A new voice entered the chat.

The two whipped their sprites around only to see Tucker.

“Hey, where were you?” Naturally, Church was the first to speak.

“I was helping my mom. She had a catering thing and needed help with setting up.”

Washington shoved Church, “Nothing is wrong. See, ass prick?”

He shoved back, “It’s still on your shoulder to fix this,”

Washington shoved harder, causing the blue one to fall off the top of the base, “Fix what shit stain?”

“Wait, what was Donut gossiping about this time? I’m totally lost.” of course, Tucker just stood there and watched them argue.

Washington turned to him, “Nothing, you don’t need to worry about it.”

A bullet hit the ground about a foot away from where Washington was standing.

He jumped, clearly startled, “Son of a fuck! What the hell, man?”

“That was just a warning shot for pushing me off!” Church yelled from below the base, a rifle in hand.

“It wasn’t a warning shot, your aim just fucking sucks!” Tucker walked over to the edge and threw a flash bang down. Except it didn’t go down. Instead, it landed at the feet of the two still at the top of the base.

“Mother of fuck!” That was the last thing Tucker would have heard as both their screens were shrouded in white and a loud, high pitched ring took over the audio.

Church laughed at the two who were affected, though neither of the others could tell.

A moment after he yelled, a more feminine voice called from somewhere in the house. “David! What did you just say?” Shit. His mom was home.

“Well frickle frackle, my mom’s home early.” His words fell on the deaf ears of Tucker, who was still probably being affected by his grenade.

David took his headset off and logged out. Not like the blank screen and ringing from the earphones was going to be missed.

Much to Church’s dismay, David wouldn't be able to do anything until the next day.

 

David walked into the very same classroom that he had a couple days earlier and sat down at the same chair.

The scenery was pretty much the same, except Flowers’ braid style was different, a lanky red head was sulking in the chair next to him with his backpack near by. Like last time, Delano was braiding somebody's hair. This time, it was the chubby kid whose hair was being put into a spiraling French braid.

“What the fuck is this room even?” His thoughts escaped through his mouth as he took everything in for the second time.

“First of all, Language,” The supervising teacher took a sip of his coffee before continuing, “Second of all, this is the organic gardening club and the Special education room. Except we don’t have any funds, so we just hang out here and end up braiding each other's hair during club meetings.”

“Just for the record, I don’t want to hang out here, I don’t like hair braiding.” The redhead spoke up, still sulking. “I’m only here because Dex dragged me along.”

“And I’m only here because I’m avoiding Sarge,” The boy, Dex apparently, was no longer monotone. Instead, he sounded really pissed off.

“You wouldn’t need to avoid him if you hadn’t even stolen cigarettes! Like, what the fuck?”

Flowers grumbled something, probably about language.

“Because here’s the thing, Dick,” He tore his head away from Delano’s grasp to glare at the redhead.

“Rich,” He corrected, glaring back.

Dexter only rolled his impossibly dark brown eyes in response, “I can’t buy cigs, I’m not legal age yet.”

“Exactly! You’re not legal, so why smoke? Why smoke even if you were legal! Honestly, you’re such an idiot,”

“I smoke because I want to, and I don’t even smoke anymore so stop nagging me.”

“Boo hoo, you’ve been clean for two days.”

“It’s not drugs, so I can’t be clean.”

“Whatever. I still can’t believe you would even smoke. It’s terrible for you and doesn’t make you look any cooler.”

“Yeah, I don’t care about looking cool, and I’m not going to get all heartfelt and earnest and spill why I took up smoking.”

“You know Dex, talking about how you got into substance abuse can really help your mental health.” Frank had reached over and finished the spiral braid with a small ponytail poking straight up at the middle of his forehead.

“Shut up. I don’t need to hear your hippie bullshit about drugs.”

“You sounds like Sarge,” Flowers noted.

He flipped him off. “Don’t compare me to that coot.”

“Well someone’s pissy,” Despite his words, Flowers spoke in a sing song voice.

“And stressed.”

“Why?”

“Take a gander, old man.”

Doc straightened his glasses, “Don’t mind if I do. My initial guess would be withdrawal, but even more than that. I suppose you were already extremely stressed about something and smoking was your outlet, probably because you didn’t use a form of art or physical activity to healthily get rid of your feelings. But now, not only are you resisting the urge to get a cigarette, but your previously subdued stressors are coming back.”

Dexter stared at him for a moment before speaking, “The most surprising thing is that you responded to old man rather than Flowers.”

Mike laughed, “He’s not that old. But he acts like he’s old.”

Doc just shrugged, ‘I’ll take that as a compliment that proves I’m more mature than all of you.”

“Especially Frank here, who’s gossiping tendencies totally messed up parts of my life.” David finally spoke up, causing most of the eyes to fall on him.

“What did he do this time?” It was Rich who spoke. No one corrected him. It seemed that it wasn’t really a question of whether or not it was Donut’s fault.

“Well I think Tucker knows that I’m not really interested in him, because a certain gossiping Glinda in the room. And according to Church, him knowing that will make him really awkward around me for a while. So because I’m making him uncomfortable, he’s avoiding most of his friends to avoid me. He says he’s fine, but Leo is still convinced it’s my fault. I just had to plant myself smack dab in the middle of his friend group.”

“But I didn’t say anything! I keep romance affairs private! Other affairs, well that’s another matter.”

David rolled his eyes, “Well someone told him.”

Lavernius walked into the room. “Who got told something?”

A heavy silence settled around them all. Except, of course, Mikey, “Hi Lavernius! Funny, we were just talking about you!”

“Cool. Thanks Mikey.”

“You’re welcome!”

Again, David spoke up, “What are you doing here?”

“Leo finally got the guts to talk to Allison IRL so they are being grossly awkward and he told me to find you and that you would probably be here.”

He nodded, “Well here I am.” That was honestly the best he could come up with.

Lavernius nodded, “Yeah. So, what were all of you arguing about?”

“David thinks that Delano is gossiping about him,” Rich offered.

The young man bobbed his head again and took a seat on the floor. “Cool, what’s the alleged gossip about.”

No one said anything. It was much too delicate of a topic.

Finally, David stood from his chair and stood in front of the boy on the floor. “Leo thinks you’re uncomfortable because you know I don’t like you as anything more than a friend. Though, I don’t know if I can actually call you that. No offense, but I’ve known you for a month.”

All traces of irritation disappeared as Dex watched the drama unfold in front of him. “Damn, that was gutsy!”

Other than the Hawaiian’s outburst, the room was silent.

After what seemed like at least five minutes, Lavernius finally responded. “Well, I hope that you can call me a friend soon. And don’t sweat it, if you’re uncomfortable with me telling sex jokes or kidding around with you, I’ll stop. It’s not like I liked you romantically or anything.”

His response honestly surprised him. “But Leo said that you were talking about my butt and stuff all week.”

“That was a joke. That guy is so dense, do you really think that he’d get it when I jokingly said that your ass would look nice in tiny shorts?”

This time, David fell silent while he was thinking. “Sooo, you’re not going to get all awkward around me?”

“Course not. That’s just another of Leo’s mistakes in perception. Just because I back off when I know someone is uncomfortable with me, that doesn’t mean I’m awkward.”

“Kaayyy. But from what I heard, you didn’t back off when you liked Caroline, Leo’s sister.”

He blushed, “In my defense she was playing coy! I didn’t know she didn’t like me. Okay. God, that was like a year ago, why is he still talking about it?” He stood up and grabbed his bag before storming out of the room, still fairly flustered.


	5. Chapter 5

Usually, David would find where Lavernius and Leo were sitting and join them for lunch. Today was like the others, well almost. Leo wasn’t sitting down at the regular table, in fact, he was across the cafeteria with a good looking chick in flannel. That and about five more people were sitting with Lavernius. The redhead from before, Dex, Donut, Doc and Caboose had all chosen to crowd the large table. 

Curious, the blond leaned slightly to the left. The shorter’s deep brown eyes followed. He leaned to the right, same thing. 

“Okay, Lavernius. What’s the deal. You’re watching me like a grandmother watches kids eat her pie, making sure they smile and eat like, half a pie each.”

That seemed to get his attention, “What the crap. White people have fucked up grandmas. What kind of grandma expects any child to eat half a pie?”

Dexter leaned over, “Mine.”

Lavernius shoved his arm, “Dude, that’s because you do it on a regular basis.”

“Even if that were true, which it isn’t, she just expects it from all her grandchildren. She expects Kai to do it too, and have you seen how skinny that girl is?”

“Well I’m still sure she can eat half a pie. For fuck’s sake she can eat dick like none other.” He smirked as he spoke. 

Dexter frowned, “Dude. She’s like, fourteen. It’s kind of creepy how you keep insisting you’ve had sex with her. Plus, I know she would never go near you and your creepy innuendos.”

“”Ha! If you think my regular innuendos are bad, then you should hear when your sister and Delano get into the same room. It’s like live action sexting except both of them are really oblivious.”

The blond shook his head, “That’s not the point.”

“Yeah!” Finally, someone agreed with David. “The point is, which grandma is this Dex? Your mom’s mom or your dad’s?”

“The white one.” He avoided saying dad. 

“See! I told you that white grandmas secretly want to kill children with morbid obesity. But they only have Thanksgiving weekend to kill them so they make these kids eat an entire pie.”

“Ye- no! Stop pulling weird ass ideas out of your ass Lavernius!”

“Kay fine, I lied, apparently it’s only half a pie. But Dex get’s a full pie because his grandmother hates him especially.”

Dexter punched him again, “Shut up.”

“Oh my god, all of you are idiots. That’s not the point.” he rested his head on the table “Why do I even bother?”

Delano reached over the table and started putting small pony tails in his blond hair. He thought it was too short for that, but the other didn’t. “You try because it’s just something you do. It’s what everyone does. Even when it’s hard. Actually, I think you do it especially when it’s hard. I think you just love hard things. It’s almost like you can’t get enough of them.”

Lavernius snickered under his breath. 

The blonde with gelled hair looked at him, “What’s so funny? Is it his ponytails, because I think they’re fun and cute.”

He shook his head, his dreads flaring out as he did so, “No. It’s cute. Well, everything is cute on Dave, but that’s not the point. ”

David was sure Lavernius was still staring at him, but his head was still firmly planted on the sort of grimy lunch table so he couldn’t be sure. 

Delano pat his head, “Then what is so funny?”

“Just what you said,” God, he could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“What! I think humans try when life get’s hard. Because if life was always easy no one would try. So Davey here was trying because it’s hard.”

He lifted his head up at that, “Kay, first, never ever call me Davey again.”

Of course, Lavernius had to put in his two cents, “I like Davey. It’s endearing.”

Dave finally lifted his head to look at him, a dead expression on his face, “I will stab you in your sleep. I know where you live.”

That didn’t dampen his smile a bit, “You don’t know which bedroom is mine.”

“Your mom would tell me. Infact, she’d probably grab a knife and join me if I told her what you were saying to me.”

Still, the smile didn’t disappear, but his eyes turned malicious, “You are not telling my mom shit. If you do, I will find you, no matter where you run to, and I will hurt you.”

“Whatever.” He decided to drop the subject. “Anyway, Delano, for the love of god, stop saying hard. You’re making Lavernius say dick jokes and making us hate you.”

He feigned flipping his hair with a scoff, “Hate me? How could anyone hate me?”

“Well…” Dexter started.

Delano gave a glare. Or tried to. It was kind of useless, “Excuuuuuse me mister. Did I ask for you to spout off and insult me?”

“Well you kind of did,” of course Rich took his side. 

Delano puffed up his cheeks in what appeared to be an attempt at looking manly, “It was rhetorical!”

Dexter rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

Dave sighed, “Will you guys please stop changing the subject.”

“You’re the one who changed the subject this time.” Rich pointed out. 

“What? No I didn’t, why would I do that?”

He shrugged, “You started talking about Delano and his love for dick.”

Lavernius smiled, “Dexter is the one who loves Dick the most. He’s always looking at you, Richard.”

The redhead flushed heavily, “Oh. My. God. Will you just shut up about that? I don’t need any of your accusations today.”

That immediately interested Delano. “Why not today in particular? Did something happen?”

He shook his head, “Those accusations are just never appropriate.”

Delano pouted, obviously not sated with the answer. “Come on, usually you just blush and deny it. What happened Rich?” 

He shook his head, “I'll tell you later.” 

The other nodded. “Kay, well, if you need me to beat someone up, I will.” 

Richard paused before sighing. “I'm not going to say why, but if you wanted, you could go beat up Leo for me.” 

He nodded and stood up with a grin, “Kay.” 

Before he could step away from the lunch table, an old man teacher came over. “Son, what's this I hear about beating people up?” 

He nodded, “I'm going to go beat up Leonard in front of his girlfriend.” 

The man stoked his short, salt and pepper goatee, “I don't condone violence in the lunchroom, take it outside will you?” 

“No can do Sarge. He won't follow me out, plus I want everyone to see.” 

He nodded, “Fair enough. I'll turn an eye, just don't get caught by Dr. Grey. 

Delano nodded and skipped off. 

David raised a brow and looked to Doc, “Just going out on a limb here, but did you get your nickname by being good at first aid?” 

Doc snorted, “No, I'm god awful at it. I got my nickname by being Dr. Grey’s favorite.” 

“Is Dr. Grey the nurse here?” 

He shrugged, “She the other one teacher, the physics teacher, the English and math subject head AND the nurse. But she's more of a psychology kind of doctor rather than medical.” 

“Kay fine whatever. She can patch people up, right?” 

“Sure. But why are you asking? Are you afraid Lavernius is going to break your fragile heart?” 

He rolled his eyes, “I'm only afraid of his creepy glare. I'm just asking for your boyfriend who will get beat up pretty soon.” 

Everyone at the table was silent for a second before bursting out laughing. 

On instinct, David blushed, “What's so funny?” 

Dexter recovered first, “You think Leo, who is less manly Allison, is going to hurt Delano in such a way that he needs medical attention.” 

“We're talking about the same Delano right? The one that braids hair, carries around hair clips and paints his nails in French, right?” 

Lavernius’ laugh died into a chuckle as he reached across the table and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yep. That also the same Delano as the one that's captain of track, football and baseball, then a part of almost every other team.” 

It took a moment, but finally, Dave nodded. “It's good to know that he'll be okay. Anyway, back to our conversation. I asked you,” He pointed across the table at Lavernius, “Why you were staring at me like a grandma.”

“Yeah, like a creepy white grandma who secretly hates kids. Well, I wasn’t. Because first, I’m black. Second, I don’t hate you that much. Third I’m not an old woman.”

“Great, you were still staring at me. Why?”

“Because the human eye is just attracted to beautiful things..”

His faint blush returned, “That’s not a real answer!” He insisted.

He rolled his eyes but relented. “It’s because I’m not sure if I gave you a mean girls style introduction.”

He stared blankly at him for a moment, “What?”

“Oh my god. Have you never seen mean girls?”

Dex jumped in, “You know, I’m beginning to think Dave isn’t real. He follows stereotypes and hasn’t seen mean girls. Like, what the fuck? Who hasn’t seen Mean Girls and when do stereotypical people even exist?”

Lavernius nodded, “We are so watching mean girls. Leo’s place, Friday after school.” 

Dave leaned back a little bit, “It sounds like a chick flick.”

Dex snorted, “What did I tell you. Stereotypes. What do you even see in him?”

Lavernius shrugged, “He’s easy on the eyes despite his lack of cultural knowledge.”

The bell rang, everyone groaned. 

Delano came skipping back and grabbed his bag, literally skipping. “I’m really glad I don’t have practise today. I think we agreed to finish up after school.” 

Doc smiled and pecked his cheek, “You’re so cold blooded. Looks like you already gave him a bloody nose.”

He smiled, “He deserved it.” 

“You don't know what he even did.” 

“Looked like he deserved it. He always does, him and his gross half facial hair.” 

Richard rolled his eyes at the scene, “Delano stop kissing him and listen up. We’re having a get together on Friday at the Church’s. Dave hasn’t seen Mean girls.”

He did not stop covering Doc’s face with little kisses. Somehow, he managed to speak through all the little pecks. “Okay. I’ll bring brownies. But we have to watch Mean Girls two. He won’t understand how genius it is without seeing the trash that is the sequel.”

“I thought the sequel was pretty good,” Rich popped his red head back into the conversation. 

“I bet you thought the Harry Potter epilogue was good too.”

He scoffed, “Please. I have SOME standards.”

“Uh huh. Not to be mean, but look at Dexter.”

Before he could respond, the late bell rang, causing a round of groans.

Dave laughed, “Ha! You’re stupid topic jumping made you late for class.”

Lavernius just winked, “It was worth it just to spend an extra minute of my life with you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my sweet organic strawberry and cream oaatmeal. feel better!

Friday night found several teenage boys on Leonard’s cramped couch. Well, it found them in the living room. Most of them were crammed on the couch, but Richard opted for the floor once Lavernius pointed out that the only place for him to sit was Dexter’s lap. Technically, he could have sat on anyone’s lap or made someone else sit on someone else's lap, (like David on Lavernius ahem) but he was so flustered by that point he just sat down on the ground.

Either way, seven of them were shoved against each other as the classic movie began to play.

Not even five minutes later, Caroline stepped into the room. For being Leo’s twin, she looked absolutely nothing like him, what with her red hair and lack of scraggly teenage facial hair. And as usual, she looked annoyed, “Hey, I’m trying to do homework, turn it down.”

Leo scoffed and turned it up to spite her, but before he could say, ‘It’s Friday, you don’t need to do your homework, dweeb,’ David stood up. 

“Oh my God, Carolina?” Apparently, he recognized her voice. 

She stared a moment before cracking a tiny smile, “Washington. The fuck you doing here?”

He gave that goofy laugh of his as he managed to pry himself from between Lavernius and Dexter. It wasn’t easy, but soon enough he stood in front of the tall girl. “You know, just getting squashed by Dexter’s giant ass. What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

His jaw dropped into an open mouthed grin, “No way, your Leo’s sister?!”

“Yep. But don’t get me wrong, I’m nothing like that idiot.”

Leo scoffed, “Try telling all my honor classes that I’m an idiot.”

“Try telling your C average that you should be in honor classes.”

He flicked a piece of popcorn at her then settled back into the couch. “Whatever. Shut up, we’re watching chick flicks. Go talk to your boyfriend in the kitchen or something.”

David shrugged, the grin still present on his face. “I’m not opposed to that. Let’s go.”

Caroline mirrored his shrug and lead him into the kitchen, “I suppose it’d be nice to catch up with you outside of that game, and you know, talk to you about things not concerning government plots.”

As soon as they were out of the room, Lavernius turned to Leo. “Why the hell did you drive them away. If they’re in the same room as us, then they wouldn’t have made out.”

He rolled his grey eyes, “They’re not going to make out. Davey said he’s asexual.”

“That doesn’t mean he won’t pin her up against a wall and smooch her. Or that she won’t pin him up a wall and smooch him! Look, they already have history, and did you see how his eyes lit up when he heard her voice. That was just her voice! And she’s a beauty. God. Leo, you idiot.”

“I don’t want my sister to make out with anyone as much as the next guy, but you need to chill. Both of the people in the kitchen turned you, the king of charisma down, why? Because they’re simply not interested in a relationship, with anyone.”

He nodded, taking a breath as he did so. “Makes sense, but I still can’t shake the feeling that there’s something between them. Or maybe nothing between them, not even clothes at this point, if you know what I mean.”

Leo pulled a face, “Disgusting!”

Lavernius rolled his eyes, “You didn’t let me finish. Sex jokes aside, I’m concerned. They know each other. Maybe that pre existing connection makes them attracted to each other and let’s them get passed this invisible boundary which is the fact that neither of them really want a relationship. What if they just had to find the right person? Well now they have!”

Dexter leaned over, “Kay, how about this though. They said they weren’t interested in anyone or a relationship in order to let Lavernius her down easily, but now that they’ve found each other, it’s an instant connection. It’s just you that they have a problem with.”

He groaned and leaned over to put his head in his hands. “That’s worse. Dex, just do me a favor and go away. Just, like. Leave. Get up, and go away. Just walk out that door.”

“Hell no, the movie is only half over!”

“No one’s watching it anymore!”

“I am! So is Mikey.”

Lavernius sighed, “Whatever.”

Donut stood up then, “You know what, I’m tired of waiting for you guys to say something that would let me say a cool one liner. Well, I mean, you kind of did, Dex, but that wasn’t Leo, and I missed my opportunity consoling Richard here. So anyway…” He changed position so that he was pointing at Leo. “Imma beat you up asshole!”

No one but Leo looked too phased. “Wait, what did I do to deserve this!”

“Rich tells me that you took a picture of him and Dex making out behind the bleachers and now you’re blackmailing him.”

He crossed his arms. “Kay, well, he was threatening to stop helping me with my homework AND tell the teachers that I’ve been cheating on tests.”

“You should know it’s not okay to lord people’s sexualities over their heads, especially not with the kind of father he has. And don’t cheat, you’re going to get caught anyway.”

“He should know it’s not a good idea to lord my grades over my head. Especially considering who my father is. Plus, I don’t hear Dex complaining, and he’s affected by this just as much as Rich is.”

Dexter shrugged, “My dad doesn’t care what I do as long as I don’t break the law or become a hippie.”

Donut smiled, “Well, I don’t hear anyone but you complaining. So, without further ado, I’m going to kick your ass.” He took a couple steps to the couch and landed one solid punch.

Lavernius stood up, “I’m going to go get an ice pack or something from the freezer.” Mostly, that was just an excuse to go to the kitchen. 

He slipped into the kitchen easily and made it three steps before being noticed by the two teens sitting at the island. 

David looked over at Lavernius, somewhat startled, a cookie dangling from his mouth. Instead of taking the sweet out of his mouth with his hand, he just shoved it all in. “Yo, ‘vernius, what’s goin on out there?”

“Not much,” He shrugged, “Donut finally beat up Leo.”

Caroline rolled her blue eyes with a sigh and stood up, “I should go out and stop it.”

Lavernius shrugged, “I say let it go for a second. I mean, he’s blackmailing people because he’s cheating.”

“Still, he’ll bitch all night if I don’t go.” She grabbed a first aid kit and an ce pack from the freezer before leaving. 

With her gone, Lavernius easily slipped into the empty chair.

David looked at him, slightly wide eyed, “Should we go out there too?”

“Nah, let’s just stay in here. I mean, when was the last time we were alone? I’d much rather stay in here and talk with you then be with them, what do you say.”

The other’s eyes shifted to the door then back to Lavernius, “Okay. But only because Caroline left these cookies and I’m always a slut for baked goods. So, let’s talk.”


End file.
